Brain Dumps · Feeling Blah

Ever wondered where the world is taking you?

Right now, my head is not the nicest of places to be. Aside from the touch of flu floating around, clogging everything up, making it hard to see let alone think.

There is that ever present Hormonal element. the demons that are always there waiting to strike, that dark cold lonely place ready to open up and swallow me where no one can reach to bring warmth, no amount of tears and holding can even take the edge off. the constant drive to just curl up in a ball and somehow disappear.

In that little hole I work hard at keeping it all together. The simplest things lead me down a path of self loathing and hate at the world and those around me. a poorly worded message with good intentions. An act that leaves me even more empty (if that’s possible) than before, holding back useless tears.

and then as the wave passes, the sun is shining again, my view on those little things that caused me rage is unchanged, but the weight is gone, I’m still upset but I no longer feel the need to drive my fist into a wall (or someone’s face), that urge to find a physical release of that inner pain is easing, I can breath again, relax, feel, the drain has stopped. we are back at square one, life is ok (not great just ok), things are enjoyable, going outside is a consideration, talking is possible, exhaustion is there, rest is a must.


4 thoughts on “Ever wondered where the world is taking you?

  1. Rest up beautiful girl, and know that you are loved more than words on a screen can tell. You know where to find me. Ewe nose eye luff ewe gorgeous one *passes the virtual cheesecake*. Rest up, let those who love you hold you as you fall apart, and do what you need to do. Including call me if you need, ok? Always hear for you, my dear friend. Much love xxx

  2. Oh my BeeBee xxx rest up, the head and body take time to get over the flu (Ive heard whisky is good πŸ˜‰ but dont take my word on it LOL)

    Sounds like you are in a difficult place, remember how much we luv ya and if you need to chat about that hole – Im here always. While I may not understand fully everything you are going through, Ive been there, holding tight trying to scrabble up a wall that keeps pushing me back down and it is not pleasant at all. Relish those bursts of sunshine as they come to you xxx

    Ive a few things that may help you, but I dont want to force them on you if they are unwanted advice, so just remember I am here and if you need some help on outlets, you know where to find me ok xxx and if not thats ok too, happy to hold your hand from afar ❀

  3. xxx take care Bee, missing you, look after yourself and please accept the lovely ladies offers of help. You don’t have to deal with all this shit on your own xxx

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