for enjoyment

seafood lunch cruise sydney harbour

it was supposed to be a nice day out just the two of us…. so much for that the whole month I was looking forward to it deciding what to wear organising Prill and tip boy to look after miss and take her to swimming while fighting off the boy’s miserable comments about not wanting to go and I should take my mum great to know he wants to spend time with me
followed by in the last week why can’t we take miss, we should just take her …. grrrr
the night before how are we getting there figure that out reorganise the babysitting around our leaving time lots of tear etc and I have no idea what about prolly cause I’ve been organising the whole thing myself andnhe showed no interest in helping look up the transport details
the morning arrives we get ready to go miss is breakfasted prill arives give her tha basic rundown the boy insists of getting clean clothes and dressing miss them making her a milo with me all the while trying to get him out the door
we wander off chatting as we walk the boy dosen’t walk very fast i know I don’t walk often but I do walk quickly porbably as a result of my work walk to the job quickly walk back quickly
anyway trying to eg him on and get to the bus we watch one that we could have caught but wasn’t mentioned by the planing website sail by then as we get close to the stop the website recomended a bus with the number we were supposed to catch went around the corner ….. I lost it so much pushing and shoving and trying to get things hapening so we can spend some quality time together and we miss our bus the boy coped all of you you $%@# should have walked faster you don’t care about me you caused us to be late I ahet that you always do this to me ytou always ruin my nice day out I should never have expected to get it this @##% always happens and its not fair …. and well you get the idea I can be a nasty horible person

meanwhile he calls a cab rather than just turning around and walking away like he could have or yelling back

the cab is quick he must have been just around the corner we jump in the clock on the dash says 932 the bus we were supposed to catch comes at 941 we were 10 mins early blast! at the station I try to appologise all he says is don’t worry I’m used to it shit I called him the worst names under the sun he should have walked away he could have slaped me but he is used to it how the hell does he get to be used to treatment like that how can he be used to me who hardly swears swearing at him so loud my voice breaks thats just not fair, I wonder if and how long we can last like this I wonder ometimes if there is something I can do but what I’ve been to Drs over years and years you could prolly even trace dr visits back to primary school and always its the same there is nothing wrong with you back then iI just plain felt really sick not throwing up just felt sick high school I was always sooo tired late teens got to a point that dad thought I was on drugs then came a dr who sort of listened he thought I should join a church or a club or something like that no offence to those who are practising christians but church just isn’t my thing actually the whole concept of a higher power makes me anxious now theres this the same crap I dished out to mum and dad at 15 I serve to the boy and he’s become used to it and I’ve yet again blamed him for ruining what was ment to be a good day that I ruined myself

btw we were both ecpecting something a little fancy like the panorama resturant but the cruise food wasn’t even up to band club standards at least the views were nice and the information good recomend it to anyone visiting sydney

tip boy took miss to swimming but put her in her swimmers before they left home luckily she didn’t wee till they got to the pools and were waiting to get in


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